the Way of the Turtle

Endings, Part 1
Friday, August 28, 2009

Definitely a rough day today. I was hoping to get out for a run or a ride but just didn't have the time, because I was trying to finish assembling a scrapbook for my karate instructor, Master Allen Hillicoss. We wanted to present it to him after class tonight.

Which was the other reason today was rough. Tonight was the last class at the Albany location of the American Martial Arts Institute, where I've been teaching for the last 10 years (prior to that, I was teaching at our old location down in Catskill.) Roughly two months ago Master H. made the decision to close the location and retire from AMAI. So tonight was also the last time he'll be teaching... an mind-boggling thought, after being his student for 27 years. I've had two months to think about it and it's really only just starting to sink in, now that it's actually happening.

And the rest of the story is... I'm leaving AMAI as well. I've been increasingly unhappy with the leadership of the school for a number of years now, and had anticipated that at some point in the next few years I'd reach my breaking point and would resign. Only three things kept me around - Ann (who is also leaving), not wanting to bail on Master H, and the students. So I decided to take Master H's departure as my opportunity to leave as well.

Which means that tonight was probably the last time I'll see the majority of the students and instructors, some of whom I've known for years or even decades. That's proving a tough thought to deal with. There are some fantastic people in that group and I will miss them dearly. Add in all the memories that were stirred up as I dug through reams of photographs from the last 25-30 years, and you have... a rough day. Even knowing as I do that a world of opportunities has opened up before me (because I most emphatically am not done teaching and training, only with AMAI) and knowing how unhappy I've been with a major part of AMAI - it's still difficult and painful to say goodbye.

But then, I guess if it were easy - then it wouldn't have been worth it in the first place and I wouldn't have stayed as long as I did.

JMH