Tuesday, September 15, 2009
This past weekend AMAI had a black belt testing, and two students who used to be my responsibility tested, one for black belt and the other to advance from junior rank to adult rank black belt. I'm pleased to say that both passed and I have no doubt that they will do their new ranks proud, despite having had a free-thinking troublemaker for an instructor for many years.
Once their testing was over, I sent off two letters. The first was my resignation letter, in which I resigned from all affiliation with AMAI, its Grand Master, and any businesses owned by him. I outlined my reasons for leaving fairly bluntly (major problems with the way said Grand Master has conducted himself for many years now) and have no doubt that I am no longer welcome at any class or event under his direction. Can't say I'm shedding any tears at that thought... if I never see him again it will be too soon.
I also sent an e-mail to all the instructors on the e-mailing list, both to let them know that I was resigning, to clear up any misrepresentations that might pop up about why, and to leave them with the couple of parting thoughts. But perhaps I should let the letter speak for itself:
I am writing the black belt instructors and staff for several reasons. First, to let you know that Saturday evening I sent a letter of resignation to Grand Master Crandall and am no longer affiliated with any of the organizations and businesses under his direction. Second, to answer some of the speculation that has been relayed to me regarding my reasons for leaving the American Martial Arts Institute. And finally to leave you with a few parting thoughts and to say my goodbyes to some of the finest people it has been my pleasure to teach and train with .And that, as they say, is that. As the end of the year approaches, I will most likely write a little bit more about AMAI and ending my 27 year tenure with it... and a few thoughts as I look ahead at my expanded options in studying martial arts.
Let me say up front that some people reading this may be deeply offended by what I have to say. If that is the case my suggestion is simple – hit “delete” and get on with doing things that bring you satisfaction and happiness in your life. Also, please be assured that this is the only time I will be using this method to contact you, unless you indicate that you wish to continue communicating with me. For those of you that have already done so, I thank you for putting our long-standing friendships ahead of dogma.
Grand Master Crandall should receive my resignation letter early this week. I actually formulated it while we were closing down the Albany location but waited to send it out until there would no longer be any potential impact on my former students testing on Saturday. I am not going to give any details of my reasons for leaving in this e-mail – suffice it to say that it has become increasingly evident that Grand Master Crandall and I are two very different people and I have known for several years that the day was coming when I would leave the school because of those differences. If you would like to know more you will need to either ask him to see the letter or contact me and I will share any information that I can in good conscience.
I have learned of speculation about a number of possible reasons for my departure from the school, and would like to set the record straight regarding them:
I am not leaving out of loyalty to Master Allen Hillicoss, though the way I have seen him treated over time and particularly the way he was dealt with after choosing to close the Albany location has reinforced my decision.
I am not leaving because of any perceived slight, large or small, directed toward me – I cannot recall a single occasion where Grand Master Crandall has said anything negative to or about me, despite the volume of negativity I have seen him direct toward numerous others both within the school and in the wider martial arts community.
I am not leaving because I no longer have the time or interest to study and teach martial arts; actually, I am looking forward to many more opportunities to do so in the future, now that I will be able to determine my own direction rather than having it dictated by Grand Master Crandall.
I am not leaving because Master Hillicoss has asked me to do so. In fact, he made it very clear that I should do whatever I think is best for me, not realizing that I have known for several years that the day was coming when I would leave the school and chose not to discuss it with him, so as not to put him in the position of having to defend his instructors’ decisions and actions to me. Neither has he had any input into anything I am writing here – he will read it for the first time when he gets the e-mail, just as he was informed that he needed to relinquish his Master status in an e-mail to the instructors and staff.
As a side note, I realize some may be bothered by my referring to Allen Hillicoss as “Master” rather than “Mr.” I understand and wholeheartedly agree that he no longer meets the requirements of Master status in American Eagle Style, being neither Grand Master Crandall’s successor nor a 7th degree black belt. At the same time he has been my instructor for 27 years and there is no doubt in my mind that he embodies all of the characteristics of a Master Instructor. Regardless of his status in the American Martial Arts Institute that is how I will always think of him, and I find it disheartening when I hear that some have apparently discarded the respect they once professed to have for him in favor of disdain and overly familiar forms of address.
If you have made it this far, please allow me to leave you with two final thoughts (what can I say, I am first and foremost a teacher.)
I have been fortunate to work with many students, both in martial arts and as a career, and I have always tried to teach my students to think for themselves, to ask questions and seek answers (even if they aren’t the same answers I might choose.)Teaching is ultimately about the growth of the student, though when it’s done well the teacher also often finds himself growing. When a student chooses to follow a path similar to mine, I have an additional goal – to help him learn to be better than I am. At times that is a scary process, since it means that at some point the student may actually outgrow his need for the teacher, but I think it is vitally important. A teacher who holds his students back from learning all they can and being all they can… well, I guess all I can say about that is if you find yourself in that situation, maybe it’s important to ask yourself why and whether or not he is the right teacher for you.
I have heard Grand Master Crandall say on several occasions that he is the “heart and soul” of the school, and that the instructors are appendages doing his bidding. I disagree. Without you, he would not have a school. You are the ones who volunteer your time and give your blood, sweat, and tears to take care of the students, pass on the knowledge, and help the school grow. When the day comes that he is gone, you will be the ones who either carry on a stagnant tradition designed only to perpetuate his name or a vibrant style that can grow and evolve to meet the needs of its students and the world they live in. Grand Master Crandall most definitely provides the direction, but you are the “heart and soul” of the American Martial Arts Institute. Without you, he is just one man – a dedicated passionate man with undeniable talents and skills, but still just one man. Perhaps Grand Master Arndt said it best when he wrote to the northeastern Kang Duk Won instructors, telling them “You don’t need him, he needs you.”
I have definitely taken more than enough of your time. Thank you for being my fellow instructors and in many cases my friends. The American Martial Arts Institute is blessed with a fine group of students and an even finer group of dedicated teachers who are passionate enough about what they do that they willingly give their time to pass on what they have learned. I have been an instructor for 16 years, and it has not been an easy decision to leave such a committed, caring group of people. I will miss the students greatly and I will miss you – both are part of the reason I stayed as long as I did. I wish you all the best and hope that being a part of the American Martial Arts Institute continues to meet your needs and bring you everything you might be looking for from it.
JMH
